Category Archives: Humor

What are you gonna do about it?

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If you need a good laugh this Friday, click here to read about the coolest dad ever (other than my own sweet husband, of course!).

And my own dad.

And my brothers.

And any other dad I should have listed, and who would be just like this guy if ever they have the chance.

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I knew it wasn’t just my imagination

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I knew it wasn’t just my imagination.

Yes, You Are Getting Shorter

Of course, T seems to be getting taller by the second, and E reminds me on a daily basis that she plans on being bigger than me when she grows up (and she will be–probably by 6 inches), which might have something to do with it too.

All I really wanted was a diet Coke

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diet Coke and, yes, Oreos

diet Coke and, yes, Oreos

All I really wanted was a diet Coke, but all I had was a $20 bill. And naturally, the machine in my building does not provide change for a twenty. So, I took myself over to Chamblin Bookmine and proceeded to spend half an hour or more perusing the juvenile section for fun and change-making. I came away with one copy of Rick Riordan’s The Sea of Monsters (for T to enjoy), one copy of Phillip Pullman’s The Golden Compass* (with a blurb from Lois Lowry—cool!**), and….a $10 bill. For some reason the problem this created didn’t occur to me until I was walking back up the steps to my office. Then it struck me. Aha! The evil machine doesn’t give change for a ten either! (You probably already figured this out.) Because it’s just fun to walk an extra 2 or 3 blocks when it’s 95 degrees outside, I went back the way I came and across to Victoria’s Café where I finally bought my diet Coke and a pack of Oreos (which I didn’t need). And, yes, I could have done this in the first place, spent ten less dollars, walked four less blocks, and used up 30 fewer minutes of my lunch hour. But then I would never have known that Lois Lowry also found the Golden Compass “completely absorbing” and “was sorry it didn’t go on and on.” So, I think it was worth the beads of sweat dribbling down my back right now. Wouldn’t you agree?

* AKA, Northern Lights, for my non-North American readers.
** Of the five or six editions of the Golden Compass on Chamblin’s bookshelf, only one had the Lois Lowry blurb. For those of you who don’t know it, I’m a huge fan of Ms. Lowry’s so this was an especially cool find for me. 🙂 

Just goin’ a little crazy, that’s all

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Why does work have to be so hard?

Yes, I know. That’s why they pay us to do it.

Back from Vacation

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Biltmore

And thanks to this random guy who happened to be posing when I took the picture.

Haven’t you ever wondered about other people’s vacation pictures you are in? I wonder if I look better in their pictures than I do in my own?

I’d post a picture of my family, or the mountains, or the lake,  but, thanks to our continuing camera fail, the only other pictures we have are either on my parents’ camera or my husband’s phone.

How rare and wonderful is that flash of a moment when we realize we have discovered a friend.

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Girls on the Porch

 How rare and wonderful is that flash of a moment
when we realize we have discovered a friend. –
William Rostler

Oh, you wanted some too?

 

  

Back at work again. So soon!

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Back at work again. So soon!
Vacation can never last long enough.

At least this time we didn’t
ride “It’s a Small World” again.

Or I’d be hearing that song
in my head again, and again,
and again, and again, and again.

It's a Small World After All

Enjoy the earworm!

This post is part of Six Word Fridays. Today’s word is again.

A Postponed Post

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Last month we were able to go hear Bill Clinton speak as part of the Florida Forum, an annual fund-raising event for Wolfson Children’s Hospital. The Clinton Foundation sounds like it is doing some really impressive stuff. It’s great to see someone use their fame in a way that could really changes peoples’ lives for the better. While listening to the former president speak, I was struck by the blog-worthiness of the whole event, and fully intended to go straight home and write up my impressions. However, my need for sleep overpowered my need to convey to the world both the odd and the meaningful aspects of the occasion. The week moved on, I got involved with preparing for my NaNoWriMo project, and next thing you know, it’s a month and a half later.

So, although the freshness of the impressions are gone, here they are anyway, in no particular order:

  • When standing on stage in front of thousands of the most powerful people in town, always clasp your hands in front of your body. Clasping them behind your back makes you look stocky. And uncomfortable.
  • As part of his speech, President Clinton referred to the “vibrant downtown” in Jacksonville. Obviously the former president had door-to-door limousine service, because otherwise, he would have had the same death fear we had when walking back to our car, which was parked about three blocks away from the TU Center. Vibrant is not a word I would have used to describe the environment. Completely and utterly deserted would be a little more accurate.
  • What is it about being in the middle of an auditorium, in the middle of the row, in the pitch-black dark that makes me desperately need to pee?
  • It says something about society life that attendees were allowed to bring wine into the auditorium, but not food. I think it’s a lot easier to vacuum up popcorn than it is to get Merlot stains out of cream-colored carpet. We snuck in some peanut M&Ms anyway. It’s hard to concentrate when you’re hungry.
  • When a speaker coughs constantly throughout his speech, it’s much less distracting for him to stop and take a drink than it is for the audience to spend the entire speech wondering if he’s going to pass out before he finishes talking. For half of the evening, all I could think was why won’t someone give that man a drink of water? As it turns out, there were two bottles hidden behind the podium the whole time. He brought them over to the chairs with him for the “interview” half of the presentation. Note to President Clinton: Next time, just stop and take a drink. We want you too. Really.

Georgia/Florida Weekend Begins

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A House Divided?

Every time I see one of these tags on some nice family car I wonder, am I the only person who knows the rest of this verse?

What’s in a Name?

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“What’s in a name?

That which we call a rose

By any other name would smell as sweet.” 

Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)

Perhaps Romeo thought names didn’t matter, but the rest of us know that names can mean a lot. Have you ever met a pretty girl named Gertrude? (Sorry, Grandmother) Well, in the last 50 years, anyway?

One of the hazards of Googlesearching one’s own name is that you risk discovering, as I just did, that your “uncommon” name is also the name of a breed of pot belly pig.

Behold, the Juliana Pig:

 

 

I am humbled.